


We can’t play on broken strings

by tinglingworld



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 15:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16642859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinglingworld/pseuds/tinglingworld
Summary: It’s been three months since Lou Miller walked into their lives. Debbie and Tammy try to figure out what that means for the two of them.





	We can’t play on broken strings

**Author's Note:**

> This a little snippet of the past, that could theoretically tie in with my current WIP, but stands on it’s own as it is.   
> It’s short and really just a glimpse of a moment but I wrote it and had it sitting around for a while now, so I thought I might as well just publish it.

_We can’t play on broken strings_

_"_ What, Debbie? What do you want me to do?!"

"I-", she broke off, not meeting her friend's eye.

"You don't love me anymore!"

"I do!"

Debbie finally raised her head and met the blonde's gaze, her eyes pleading but resignation flickering in them all the same. Tammy's eyes mirrored that very expression, both of them already knowing the end of this conversation.

"But not like that.", Tammy whispered the words anyway and Debbie couldn't lie. Couldn't deny them.

"No, not like that."

 

The breath that escaped Tammy as anger and adrenaline left her was close to a sob. She shook her head, ran her fingers through her hair, stepped away from Debbie before closing in again, wringing her hands aimlessly in front of her stomach. Eventually she just let herself plop down onto the grass right where she had stood, leaning her face into her hands.

Debbie stepped closer and sat down next to her, careful to leave just enough space between them.

"I'm sorry, Tim-Tam, I wish it were different. I really do."

She looked intently at Tammy, but the blonde didn't raise her head. Her fingers started moving from their own accord, dragging fingernails over palms and wrists as she waited for a reaction.

"I know," Tammy eventually answered quietly and then suddenly loudly,

"For the love of God, would you please stop that!"

The sudden outburst, together with Tammy's hands now grasping Debbie's in a tight hold, had Debbie flinching. Tammy still didn't meet her eye, but she lessened the strength of her hold and instead ran fingers soothingly over already slightly reddened skin at Debbie's wrists.

"Stop fucking scratching your skin open. Stupid Habit.", Tammy mumbled.

Debbie stared at their hands.

"I didn't even-", she tried to reply but Tammy cut her off, her voice ever so soft,

"I know. Just- don’t, okay?"

 

And suddenly the lump that had been building in Debbie's throat since this conversation had started seemed to double in size. Because even though she had just admitted that she didn't love Tammy like she loved her, the blonde still had the space of mind to interrupt her stupid ticks. That was how attentive, how caring Tammy was. It almost broke Debbie's heart that she couldn't love her back like she deserved to. But she just couldn't force these feelings, not since Lou, radiant, breathtaking Lou, had walked into their lives three month ago.

Nevertheless she now moved her hand to interlace her fingers with Tammy's and the blonde didn't object.

"I do love you.", she whispered, useless but true nonetheless and ran her thumb over the tiny freckles on the back of Tammy's hand.

"But you're falling in love with Lou.", Tammy replied and finally raised her head to meet Debbie's eyes.

There was no accusation in her eyes, only sadness.

It took all of Debbie's strength to not look away, to not shy away from this sadness, the depth of an emotion she had become so apt at avoiding. But she owed it to Tammy to not run from it this time, so she held her gaze and nodded.

"Yes. I'm falling for Lou."

 

Tammy took a deep breath, yet a smile tugged at her lips as she shook her head slowly. Debbie followed the motion with her eyes and confusion crept into her. Before she got to asking though Tammy was already speaking again.

"Honestly, I can't even blame you, you know. Lou is- she's astonishing. She really is. And yet my sorry ass is still head over heels for stubborn, exasperating, won't ever listen to a word you say Debbie Ocean, huh?"

She shrugged her shoulders to accompany the headshake and smile turned grimace. Debbie felt a piece of her heart shatter at the helpless mixture of gestures and she didn't manage to repress the urge to reach out and place her palm over Tammy's cheek.

The blonde's eyes closed at the contact and she instinctively leaned into the touch.

"I'm so sorry, Tammy.", Debbie whispered, unable to find any better words.

Tammy didn't reply this time and there really wasn't anything to say anyway.

A hollow feeling suddenly settled in Debbie's stomach as another thought formed in her mind. She hesitated for only a few seconds though before deciding to voice it, even if the very idea caused her almost physical pain.

"I won't ask you to stay."

It had come out in a voiceless whisper, but Debbie didn't care. She ran her thumb gently over Tammy's cheek, touching her while she was still allowed to do so, knowing full well that the action was a selfish one.

 

Tammy didn't react immediately but she didn't recoil from the touch either. Eventually her eyes opened and she met Debbie's.

"I don't want to go."

The words had Debbie's heart jumping in relief for a second, before reality settled back in.

She wanted nothing more than to have Tammy stay at her side, where she had been for the past 5 years of their lives. But it wasn't fair to ask that of her, not if she wanted more than Debbie could give her.

"I don't want you to suffer."

A smile ghosted over Tammy's lips as she now reached out too, running her hand over Debbie's cheek, down the side of her neck to tangle in the ends of long brown hair.

"I think that is the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard you say, Deb."

An indistinct huff left Debbie's lips in response, but she held Tammy's gaze.

 

"So what do we do?", she asked and let her hand move from Tammy's cheek to fall into her lap instead.

Tammy shrugged.

"What we do best. Relieving the wallets of rich white guys from their burden, figuring out those bigger jobs you've been whining about for years but were always one person short for. We just stop 'being a thing' in between."

Debbie sighed.

This wasn't how she had imagined things. She didn't know what exactly she had imagined but it wasn't this. It never contained breaking Tammy's heart in the process. Yeah she was excited to finally do bigger jobs. Plan things properly, have the people to help with executing it, walking away with more than a couple hundred a night. Showing Danny that she too was a capable criminal living up to the family name and not just some college break casino pickpocket.

And of course there was Lou. Lou who had her head reeling and her heart doing backflips. Debbie had no idea where that would go, if it would go anywhere. She just knew that she wanted, needed, to be with Lou.

But she didn't want Tammy to be caught up in it like this. She knew Tammy enjoyed their lifestyle and choice of ‘profession’, even though she had insisted on getting her college degree- just to be safe. But how could she be willing to stay with them now?

 

When Tammy squeezed her hand Debbie lifted her head to look at her again.

"Let's just give each other time and see where we end up, okay? We stop kissing, we stop having sex, but we keep doing everything else. And if in a week we're all miserable, well then we'll talk again. Okay?"

Debbie took a deep breath and then squeezed back.

"Okay.", she nodded. A tiny smile tugged at Tammy's lips for the briefest of moments before she too nodded and her gaze drifted off over the front lawn of their student housing and towards the rest of campus. She didn't let go of Debbie's hand and Debbie wouldn't have wanted her to.

They would figure this out.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos highly appreciated. You have no idea how much feedback makes my day!


End file.
